Learning how to bend

That mom…yeah that’s the kind of mom I am…completely paranoid and worried about every little thing. I tell myself it’s got be “first time mommy syndrome” right? I mean that’s what everyone says, that with the first baby you’re so paranoid about everything but by the second kiddo your sooo much more relaxed and easy going.

Well there are several things that have really gotten to me since having my little guy.

#1 My milk supply

This was one of my biggest fears from even before I had him, during my pregnancy I was constantly wondering if I’d even be able to breastfeed in the first place and then if I could keep up my milk supply. I joined a support group on FB for women to share tips and advice during their BFing experience, which has really helped, but has also led me to the dreaded comparison factor. Seeing these women pump tons of milk on a daily basis made me feel so intimidated because I felt like I couldn’t even compare to them, thus meaning perhaps I wasn’t making enough milk for my little guy.

Believe me I did tons of google searches to help ease my worries, but even then other demons took over my brain, things such as thrush, mastitis, baby’s preferring one breast over the other..…you name it I thought I had it. (So maybe WebMD isn’t so fabulous after all?!)

While I still sometimes wonder if things are going well, there are few things that I’ve tried to incorporate in my diet to help boost my milk supply..(or so they’ve been said to..)

Hello oatmeal, you’re my best friend!

LOTS & LOTS of oatmeal, if it works great, if not it’s fine I’m at least eating something healthy and that’s really all that matters.

&

Brewers Yeast…taste AWFUL but worth it if it works…if not…it’s bound to have some health benefits right? Lol

P.s. I totally loved this site because it helped me stay sane when my worries about milk supply kept attacking my little exhausted brain.

#2 Holding him “too much”

There’s this thing in our Hispanic cultural that if you hold babies too much they’ll become accustomed to it so much that they become fussy little monsters when you put them down…..Ok so maybe not “monsters’ per se, but you will definitely have a hard time with your little bundle of joy if they become “embracilado” or spoiled from being held too much. The problem is no one tells you how much is “too much”?? (Ok..now where’s the newborn manual for parents?) I feel as though I can read my little guy a  lot better than my husband can, (duh! I’m at home with him all day and hubby isn’t) So it gets to me when my hubby holds the baby from the minute he gets home til bedtime. I get it, they need to bond, but I also feel that hubby needs to learn to read baby’s different cries and then act accordingly. I guess I’m asking him to be more mom-like early on, and instead I just need let him take his time to get to know the baby more and quit worrying that little guy will be embracilado. I felt that we were both on two seperate pages and we need to get it together and both be on the same one.  Honestly, after much consideration and actually thinking about it instead of worrying so much, I don’t care really how much is “too much,” because in the end, a happy held baby is better than a crying unheld baby in our book. I have to stop worrying about trying to be perfect parents and hold baby Aiden whenever he needs it.

#3 Germs are everywhere and I’ve got to sanitize everything.

I was NEVER a germ-a-phobe before…not the slightest bit. However, since having Mr. Aiden, the thought of his blanket touching a nasty grocery cart full of millions of germs FREAKS ME OUT! :-/  Pet hair on baby’s stuff…. Oye! Between that and the millions of germs, let’s just say my washing machine gets daily use sometimes…(Ugh! & the thought of the germs IN the washer & dryer…ahhh!) So call me CRAZYY!  Yes, I know…I can’t protect him for everything, and that if I over-sanitize I’ll end up doing more harm then good, so I’m slowly trying to let loose and not be so paranoid for his sake and mine.

#4 Feeling guilty for taking some “me” time..

This one is the strangest for me because my “me” time has always consisted of being active, working out, going to the gym, etc…I always told myself prior having my little guy that I would HAVE to make some time for myself to workout for my mental, physical and emotional health. The only thing I didn’t consider was that that whole concept is a lot easier said than done. I’m not saying I can’t go literally…my issue is that I don’t want to go because I feel guilty leaving him just to have some selfish “me” time. Only in reality, it isn’t selfish at all, in fact it’s something I SHOULD do, not just for me, but for my husband and my sweet baby boy.

So though things have clearly changed in the last couple of months, in the end I’ve realized that although I will worry about every little thing from now until forever, I can’t let all of these little things get to me and I’ve got to learn to adapt….and I will it’s just a matter of working at. 😉

Sorry for the long post, and my lack of recent posting, I’ve been too busy killing germs, raising a beautiful baby boy! 🙂

❤ Alicia

By the way….who wouldn’t want to hold this sweet little face ALL day??….I mean really!! Embracilado? WHO CARES!! 😛 haha

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9 Comments

Filed under Baby Aiden, Parenthood

9 responses to “Learning how to bend

  1. Amanda

    Leece, you HAVE to take me time otherwise you will go crazy! You need time away so that you do not become too stressed or overwhelmed. It will get to the point where you get frustrated and lose your patience, so GO OUT! Even if you just go to your room and watch a movie with some popcorn, just get some away time! Germs, if you keep germs away his system will be very weak. You have to expose Aiden to some germs lady lol 😉 Holding him too much is true, but you see how much I held Cheyenne. It does not really hit you until he is about 2 and weighs a lot more and wants you to carry him every where (Yes I have learned from experience lol) Anyway enjoy your beautiful son and just remember you are not only a mom, but a wife, teacher, student, and person. Do not lose yourself by trying to be a perfect mother 🙂 Love ya Leece!

    • ❤ Thank you so much Manda, you have no idea how much your words of wisdom mean to me. It's tough transitioning into this new role as a mommy and balance it out with all of my other roles in life. I get in mommy mode and forget that I need to still be myself on top of it all. Wish you were here to help me through this! ❤ Love you lots girlie!

  2. Lots of lessons! Oh the joys of being a mom! You learn so many new things, that is for sure! I know when I have another child one day, it will be totally different from when I had Anthony. I was so young and scared, now I am an adult and of course know lots more!

    He is SO adorable!!!!

    Hope all is well! ❤

  3. You have to expose him to some germs or he won’t build up his immunities! I can tell that you must be a great mother from how much you care about him! Aiden is so lucky to have you!

  4. I love this post! Like you I worried about my milk supple. I found when I pump in the morning, I get a lot of milk, plus it helps my supple stay really high. When I was trying to pump at other times during the day I was hardly getting anything.

    I’m also with you on holding the baby all the time. We literally are always holding the baby or she is sleeping in her swing. I can’t help it, if she cries and wants to be snuggled, I’m right there ready to scoop her up! This is probably why she sitll is sleeping in our bed, something I said I would never let any of my children do!

    I’m with you on germs. I can’t tell you how many times I was Cameryn’s car seat blanket each week. If I bring her to the gym, it gets washed, if I’m at the doctor’s office it gets washed, if were running errands and it touches the cart, it gets washed. I am a bit more relaxed about dog hair though since we have an Australian shepherd who sheds every minute of every day. There is not getting around having dog hair all over (gross I know but I do my best to keep it vaccumed and cleaned up).

    With me time, it was really hard for me at first because I would miss C so badly. Now I love being able to go to the gym to workout and have a good workout and not worry about the baby. My husband and I live in AZ and all of our family lives out of town, so being with the baby 24/7, it is nice to sneak away for an hour if I can. I will say that I miss the baby still, sometimes even when she naps. I just want to wake her up, but know she needs her sleep.

    Okay, I think I just wrote you a book, but I can totally relate to this post! 🙂

    • I’m sooo glad you could relate and that I’m not just going crazy! haha

      I really feel like there is sooo much pressure when becoming a new mom especially when breastfeeding, but thankfully it’s managable! It of course doesn’t help when one worries, but I think it’s just in our nature because we are so eager to do everything perfectly.

      I completely understand being away from family and having the baby 24/7, that’s totally our situation too, so I do need to learn to embrace my workout time so that I can be replenished enough to handle baby the rest of the time. I too just love holding him sometimes just because! 😉

  5. Pingback: MY way. {learning how to bend part 2} | blessedandblissful

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